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grief comes in like a panther in the night… you don’t notice its presence ’till it catches you off guard. it creeps inside until you realize you’ve been attacked in ways you can’t fully understand…. i realize i’m nothing against it… because no matter how hard i push myself to go on like nothing happened, no matter how determined i am to be stronger, it still makes me crumble and makes me someone i’m not in one blow. i was grieving ever since you got ill knowing death will soon take you away. i’m grieving still because this grief changed me – making me hurt the people i love most. i never allowed myself to wallow because i know it can destroy me. now i think i made a big mistake because doing so takes a hell away the people i also can’t live without.

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